What did I learn?

It was hot. It was difficult.

You can live off the fat of your body for a long time.

Salt and water are most important.

Chicken boullion cubes, Salt packets from restaurant. LMNT. 

Ramen (korean one with black and red and silver) with added sesame oil and two packets of lemon.

Minimal or no sugar (I prefer no sugar). 

A cardboard box as mattress made me sleep like a baby. 

It was amazing.

Finally packed. At O’Hare airport. I’m going to fly to Cape Town, South Africa first then to Namibia. I’m frozen in fear. I am having difficulty accessing higher level cortical thinking. I’m telling myself that the race has already started and so I can begin to experience the whole experience starting at this moment. I’m enjoying and savoring every moment including the fear, insecurity, second guessing, judgement of myself, regret. I’m sitting at my gate feeling all the things that being alive gives me the opportunity to feel. I’m so lucky to be on earth and to experience all the ups and downs of life. The slingshot is being pulled back now. There is always a down before the up.

A lot of pre-race jitters today. Catastrophic thinking, negative thinking. Anger at myself for signing up for this race. Telling myself a story about how I’m not prepared properly. How I’m the worst person in the race. Comparing myself to others. So much easier to watch my brain produce these thoughts and to know that it is just my brain trying to protect myself. Easier and much more energy saving to not have to argue with my thoughts because I know that they are just passing normal thoughts. My goal now is to pack. One day at a time. One moment at a time. It will be 7 days of concentrating on just putting one foot in front of the other. What happens will happen as it is supposed to happen. I am a baker and I’m watching my bread rise. I have to stay still to let my dreams find me. This will be an adventure with stories generated. I do not know what stories will be generated, but they will be generated. Getting across finish line is a goal, but it is not a goal. I will be sitting with duality.